New Joke!

My mom taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside -- I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to cry out."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST:
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times -- don't exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

1. Were you named after anyone?
Yes. I am the Third.

2. Do you wish on stars?
Never.

3. Do you like your hand writing?
I do, but I think I'm the only one since I have all the credentials to be a doctor except the education and licenses.

4. What is your favorite meat?
Deer. However its COOKED is fine with me!

5. What is the most embarrassing CD on your shelf?
R. Kelly's "I believe I can fly" single. Do they still make singles?

6. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you?
We'd be best buds for life although we'd probably rarely talk on the phone. I'm just not a phone person.

7. Are you a daredevil?
Yes and no. I like to try new things that aren't illegal and proven safe, so, I don't know.

8. When was the last time you cried?
Quiet as its kept, when my second son turned three. I see why some people continue to have babies because you love them being so dependent on you, but, no babies are planned for my future.

9. Did you ever tell a secret you weren't supposed to?
Nope. I'm the greatest secret keeper ever unless court ordered or mom ordered.


10. How do you release anger?
Playing the piano, basketball, with my kids, or blogging.

11. Where is your second home?
Houston. New Orleans will always be my first home even though I haven't lived there since 1999.

12. Do you trust others easily?
Nope. I can be friendly with anybody, but trust is another subject.

13. What class in college do you think is totally useless?
Critcal thinking. Either you have it or you don't.


14. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?
Not purposely, but last year my students picked me up and carried me around the school and threw me into another crowd of students who caught me and threw me in the pool! That was actually fun!


15. What do you look for in a girl?
After checking her ID and body(might as well be honest), I look for intelligence, and inspiration.

16. Would you do a bungee jump?
I might.

17. What's your favorite ice cream flavor?
French vanilla. Yay Richmond!

18. What is your least favorite thing?
Being broke!

19. How many people do you have a crush on right now?
4. Wife and three kids.

20. What do you miss most right now?
Having no responsibilities. (This was Freddie's answer, but I am hard pressed to come up with a better one...)BTW, this was the best answer!

21. What are you listening to right now?
Stevie Wonder Songs In the key of life.

22. What is the weather like right now?
Sunny and 75.

23. Last person you talked to on the phone?
A parent who's student was having a bad day.

24. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Her eyes and teeth.

25.Favorite drink non-alcoholic?
Flavored water

26.Favorite alcoholic drink?
I'm trying to quit, but Guinness was my stuff!

27. Haircolor?
Black

28. Eyecolor?
Brown

29. Wear contacts?
No.

30. Last movie you watched?
Crash! Loved it!

31. Favorite day of the year?
Payday!

32. How many people have a crush on you right now?
Hopefully no less than four.

33. Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy endings. I am a sap, and an optimist. And I just can't do scary movies anymore (nor do I want to). Me too Richmond!

34. Summer or winter?
Winter? What's that?

35. What book/magazine are you reading at the moment?
Time

36. What's on your mouse pad?
Nada.

37. What did you watch on TV last night?
American Idol. Buh-bye Kellie!!

37.Favorite Smell?
Freshly cut grass and coffee

38. Do you regret ever breaking up with someone?
No comment. :)

39.Favorite actor/actress?
Nicolas Cage and Denzel are awesom actors, but Eva Longoria is the hottest!

This officially proves that quizzes can be and are inaccurate!

Please, shoot me now!!!

Thanks a lot Trouble for outing me as a closet Bush supporter! I never even considered voting for the idiot!

You scored as Socially Conservative Republican. Social conservatives share a belief in traditional morality and social mores and the desire to preserve these in present day society, often through civil law or regulation. The government should use its influence in the public square to support traditional family values. Socially Conservative Republican 85% Old School Democrat 70% New Democrat 55% Foreign Policy Hawk 45% Libertarian 40% Green 40% Pro Business Republican 30% What's Your Political Philosophy? created with QuizFarm.com

Save Darfur!

We're in Iraq, Afghanistan, and were in Serbia, and even Germany. Now that genocide is taking place in Sudan, its time to act. Click on the link to see how you can contribute.

Fun lyrics!

Click on the link and sing the song.

Get your free credit report!

Eh, most people I know already have their free copy, but in case you don't, here is the website to get it. Make sure you take your time because if you click on the wrong spot, you may end up paying for something. You report is free every 12 months, even in a leap year! :P

For the ladies

I'm not posting a pic of a half naked dude on my blog. Sorry. Will never happen. However, since it seems that more females read my blog than males, I thought it only right to set up some eye candy for the ladies. Its all safe for work, and its an artist that many women love. Click on the link, and check out the photos. I just may purchase that book. My body is kind of bronze right now and not quite platinum.

Score one for the slackers!

A judge ruled that an employee can not be terminated for surfing the web! It is officially legal to goof off, except the goofing needs to be "work related". Oh yeah, like blogging is work related. It helps me to focus, and keeps me from gossiping with my co-workers. Not to mention that work is one minimize away from being done. Yep, I like this ruling.

Hottest new artist around!

I usually don't pay much attention to 18 year olds because they are just becoming adults, and are still maturing, but this girl has it in my opinion. I don't know much about her music, but she is gorgeous. Some people thinks that she has a big forehead, but so does Tyra Banks! Wow!

12 year old murderer

What made this young man so angry that he had to kill two people?

I'm Renee Zellweger!

Well not exactly, nor entirely! As a matter of a fact, I'm not even a female.

However, . . . . . .

In the never ending quest to understand one's self, I've had an epiphany.

There is a part of me that is similar to her character in Jerry Maguire.





I seek to be inspired. Inspiration drives my spirit. It makes sense that I love cultural places and things. It makes sense that I love music, and poetry, and people who are passionate about something in their life. That passion is so vibrant that they don't even have to say a word. It is a bright light that is almost glorious. Regal even.

And I am attracted to that light much like a moth to a flame. And when if that light goes out, so does my interest.

That is what makes some of my relationships difficult to last. So now that I know this, now I have to find something else to grasp.

We all have things in relationships that we hold on to, and some of those things are stronger than others. When inspiration dies, work doesn't.

Inspiration, to me, was tangible. But I think I need something with a much longer half-life.

Back in the day

Ultimate Guy joke taken too seriously

This is proof that there are people who will believe any friggin' thing. The guy in the article was arrested for fondling two women and sexual assault. How did he meet the women? He told them that he was a doctor doing free breast exams. FREE BREAST EXAMS!!!! I would never have the guts to try such a thing, even in college, and this guy actually convinced two women to let him in. The sad part is that I bet if he had not gone below the chest, he would have fondled many more. Why was I cursed with an inability to notice these gullible women? Why, why, WHY!!!

Mos Def's comments

I like what he said here, and it is very true. If anyone reading his comments need some translating, just let me know!

Number 1 on NY times best seller list!

Am I the only person who hasn't purchased this book yet? I signed up when the air advocacy campaign started, and now I need to get the book. I will have it by the end of the month!

Been Tagged

Since MN tagged me, I have to give you six weird habits.

1.) I make funny faces when I sing to my kids.

2.) When I eat, I finish one section before moving on to another(for example: eating all of my peas before touching my chicken)

3.) Despite my occasional typos on here, I edit my coworkers emails for spelling errors.

4.) Since "Man in the Moon" came out, I like to make jokes about people around me that only I'm in on. People will give me a weird look, but only I know what is really funny.

5.) I like to look at strangers in an elevator, and when the time is right, release a silent killer(I can be such a social deviant).

6.) Even though I don't have the greatest voice, I like to convince people to take medicine by singing to them(only one person still refused and she knows who she is!)

BTW, I tag Richmond and Alex

More facts or possible bu!!sh!t.

Taken a picture naked? No comment. :)

Made out with a member of the same sex? Hell no.

Danced in front of your mirror? Yeah, and???

Told a lie? Who hasn't except Jesus?

Gotten in a car with people you just met? Yep. I was once stranded in between Houston and San Antonio, and I got picked up by a stranger. Thanks dude!

Been in a fist fight? Not since the 9th grade. Its hard to tick me off as I won't respond unless you touch me.

Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Who hasn't. I'm still waiting on Irene Cara to call me!

Been arrested? Unfortunately. Dang tickets!

Left your house without telling your parents? Only because she wasn't home.


Ditched school to do something more fun? Only in college, and I shall not name the fun activities that ensued.

Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? Yep. Only slept.


Seen someone die? No, but they died later.

Kissed a picture? No, but I used to kiss my En Vogue poster.

Slept in until 3? That is impossible for me to do except when I was a door to door salesman and taking Human Anatomy and Physiology at the same time. After I quit the job, I slept for 24 hours straight!

Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? I used to love doing that at the River View In New Orleans. Don't know if it still exists.


Played dress up? Er, no.

Fallen asleep at work/school? Yes, all the time.

Felt an earthquake? No

Touched a snake? At the zoo!

Ran a red light? Yes even intentionally.

Had detention? Who hasn't?

Been in a car accident? Yes

Pole danced? No comment. :)

Been lost? I'm a male. I've never been lost.

Sang karaoke? More than once.

Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Who hasn't?

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Yes

Kissed in the rain? Yep.

Sang in the shower? Still do!

Got your tongue stuck to a pole? Er, no.

Ever gone to school partially naked? No.

Sat on a roof top? Yes

Played chicken? Chicken is best played with a chick on your shoulders in the pool!

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? No.

Been told you’re hot by a complete stranger? Yep. I even had a chick grab my butt. I felt so cheap.

Broken a bone? Nope.

Mooned/flashed someone? Hah! At my 19th birthday party. I still have the pics somewhere!

Forgotten someone’s name? Yes

Blacked out from drinking? Three times!

Played a prank on someone? Of course!

Felt like killing someone? Too deep to answer.

Made a parent cry? My mom cried at graduation.

Cried over someone? Yep. And we got married.

Had sex more than 10 times in a weekend? Hmm. How to answer? 10 blasts or ten different times?

Had/Have a dog? Yes

Been in a band? Yes. My first was the First Zion Harmonizers, and the second was a band at the Lake whose name was so damned long that I can't remember it, and the other was the Lake Jazz band.

Drank 25 sodas in a day? If so, I don't remember!

Shot a gun? Only once, but since I have a daughter, I will shoot some more at the range.

That's cold!!!

Come on! Isn't there any woman who finds some of these guys sexy? God forbid if they did an Unsexy woman's list as I'm sure that Janet Reno would top the list!

Got this from Richmond

Only 5% genuine? Me? WTF?

TABLE cellPadding=20 align=center>


Killian's Red

(100% dark & bitter, 66% working class, 33% genuine)




I'll start with a quote from a review of Killian's Red that I think will reflect on you, too: "deep flavor, somewhat mild, with a moderate head." It goes on to talk about a "light caramel odor," and while that sounds nice, I don't think I can go that far in my analysis.

Overall, Killian's is a very good beer. The only thing that kinda sucks is that even though it says "Irish Red" on the bottle, this stuff's made by Coors, not peaty old Dubliners. I guess that's my way of telling you that you scored on the lower side of the "genuine" part of my test. Here's my guess: you're a sensible, likeable person, and you're popular among different groups of people. The test probably read that as a slight superficiality.

Personality-wise, you have refined tastes (after all, this stuff is kind of expensive), but you know how to savor what you get. Your personality isn't exactly bubbly, but you're well-liked nonetheless. Your sense of humor is rather dark, but that's just another way to say sophisticated, right?

As a real George Killian would say: Sláinte! Cheers!

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 81% on dark You scored higher than 36% on workingclass You scored higher than 5% on genuine

Link: The If You Were A Beer Test written by gwendolynbooks on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Happy Belated Easter!

Sorry the postings have been slow. Its testing time at the school, so I will be in and out. Love, peace, and soul.

Get to know me!

Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. Student Advisor
2 Resident Advisor
3. Customer Service Rep
4. Features Editor

Four Movies you would/could/do watch over and over:
1. Flash Gordon
2. Harlem Nights
3. Star Wars
4. School Daze

Four Places you have lived:
1. New Orleans
2. Houston
3. San Antonio
4. St. Rose, LA
Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. ANTM
2. American Idol
3. Sportscenter
4. Sponge Bob

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Orlando, FL
2. Washington, DC
3. St. Louis, Missouri
4. Detroit, MI

Four websites I visit almost daily:
1. cnn.com
2 msn.com
3. datbury.blogspot.com
4. cakeandice-cream.blogspot.com

Four of my favorite foods:
1 jambalaya
2. Pasta Mardi Gras
3. Mole'
4. Mother Dear's Gumbo

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Home in bed
2. hooping
3. listening to jazz outdoors
4. playing piano

Update on my oldest son

He told his teacher why he didn't like his skin, which for me, is an issue in and of itself. I thought our relationship was better than that, or maybe he didn't know how to verbalize it at that time.

What happened was that another black kid told him that his skin color was ugly. The black kid is darker than my son.

WTH!!!!!!

Self hatred is something else, and yet my first reaction was to believe that it was somebody other than another black person.

That response alone can fill up a blog page.

But he is feeling better about himself with the daily bombardment of love and information that my wife and I give to him.

Friggin' self hatred.

Are you serious?

How can it be that most of the contracts are being given to companies that are located no where near the Gulf Coast region, particularly after FEMA said that those companies would have an advantage? Why trivialize this situation?

Coming to a park near you!

Look out Trouble, the pythons are growing fast in Florida!

Undecided about your career?

Check out this test and see where you need to be!

American Idol gets it wrong again!

Okay, I probably don't have much credibility here because I didn't vote, but I have tried before, and do not have the patience to sit there for two hours trying to get through. The need to allow on-line voting. Its much easier, but anyway

Mandisa was clearly a strong contender, and hopefully this season won't be like last season when Fantasia was clearly a better singer than Diana Degarmo. I'd hate to see Paris Benett or Chris Dautry going up against Kellie Pickler or Bucky Covington in the final. How boring it would be!

Oh great!!

Which Extremity of the World Are You?
From the towering colossi at Rum and Monkey.


More proof of my hidden conceit. Just what the doctor ordered. Thanks Richmond for the link.

Continuing with Datbury's hot picks

There is nothing like a sexy blogger with a mind attached. Eat your heart out Jessica Simpson, but please don't take that literally. I have no reason to see you die. Really. Okay, then bring me some real buffalo wings, and afterwards you can eat your heart out. 'kay? Good.

Sex scandal

I know that there is always some sort of sex scandal going on, but I hope this guy gets his due when he goes to jail.

ATTN: Men and boys of America

I have a daughter, and if you try to harm her, rest assured that you will be sitting next to Jimmy Hoffa. And please don't assume this to be a threat. Think of it as typing on a keyboard. When you press a button, you get a result. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Datbury
Office of Home/House/Family Land Security

Just another day . . . . . .

*Datbury singing*

Its a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
A beautiful day in the neighborhood.
Its a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
Won't you be my neighbor


Okay Dawn, you can uncover your ears! :)


If I saw a guy like Mr. Rogers today, I'd assume that he is a child molester. But that is the society we live in today.

The pic is a picture of a Tiny Toons character, and his name is the same as my coworker's nickname. How funny! Plucky Duck.

Paid your worth?

This article examines that question. Does anyone feel paid their worth? I mean even the guy or lady who rarely does their work feels undervalued, right? The sports stars and business leaders who only attend conferences and long lunches get paid more than people who actually get their hands dirty, so how does one determine if they are paid what they are worth?

I'll tell you how. If you can pay your bills, then be thankful that you can because there are many people who struggle on a daily basis just to get basic necessities. I was kind of blown away at the idea of this article, and did not read it in its entirety. Surely there are more important matters to consider.

If I won the lottery, would my perspective change? Maybe, or maybe not, but how much money is in or not in my pocket will never determine how much I am worth. No company, not even Wal-Mart, can afford me based on that criteria.

Good Monday Morning!

Did you remember to set your clocks forward? Remember, Spring Forward, and Fall Back!

It was a wonderful weekend except for the fact that LSU lost. :(

My oldest lost his first tooth, and he was so excited. But who told him that the tooth fairy would give him a dollar. Friggin' inflation for imaginary creatures as well? We have got to do something about this economy.

On top of that, my daughter is now able to climb out of the playpen! We tried using the gate, but I refuse to bolt it, and thus my three year old runs through it like he is Bo Jackson. WTH!! And then he gets up laughing about it.


Then I was able to see my college roommate whom I hadn't seen in over ten years. It was pretty cool because we both have changed in so many ways. We're in our 30's although he's closer to 40 than I am. :P

Somebody once said, "Keep on livin'", and I realize that has so many meanings, and it is a very deep statement.