Going back to Cali

Nah, I don't think so.

I got this idea from Stephaine where she wrote a letter to herself that said to stop doing dumb (stuff).

Well it sparked something that I noticed in myself since working with at-risk youth at my current job. Most of the staff say that they are not like the kids and never was like them, but I think that I was.

Really.

I was a young knucklehead who missed being locked up or dead because of some praying folks in my family, and a few people who took some time with me.

I didn't grow up with my dad, and my mom usually worked and slept. My oldest sister and grandmother probably watched me more than anybody, but when my sister got married and had kids, I was watching myself through middle and high school. I didn't even realize this until working here.

No one checked to see if my homework was done.

No one checked to see if I was always at school.

Looking back, I quit participating in a lot of things because I had one watching me. I quit playing basketball, and Speech and Debate because no one was there to watch me. That was probably a sorry excuse to quit, but perhaps most of my energy went to trying to survive unwatched.

I was tempted to do some stuff, but never did anything illegal. Wait, I take that back. I was involved in a burglary that my family knows nothing about.

I remember feeling very bad about it, too.

I threw rocks at some gays although the rocks never hit them.

I saw a lady running for a bus, and instead of alerting the bus driver, I said nothing. The lady was hit and thrown 30 feet. She is still alive, but was never the same.

Now that I think about it, I did a lot things, and could really make a long list that would require two days just to read it.

Somehow, someway, I was never put into a position that would require me to do jail time.


I'm not an all around nice and good guy, and that suits me just fine.